News You Can Use for April 2008

Stomping Grounds Available Now On iTunes & Amazon!

The remastered Stomping Grounds is now available for sale on Amazon and iTunes. You'll get a bonus track (the previously unreleased "White Collar Conspiracy") and the new version of "Number" on top of a professionally remastered album. If you were going to just download it, here's your official invite to do so :) and please leave a rating or comment on it if you can!

Singer Songwriter Showcase in Santa Monica Next Friday

For all of my L.A. peeps, I've got a show next Friday that I'm hosting at the Talking Stick. It's going to be a monthly singer/songwriter showcase where I perform along with several other selected original acts. It was a lot of fun last month, will be great this week, and also next month. You can find all the details on MySpace at myspace.com/johnclinebell.

Over 7K Plays in Last Month on YouTube

Thank you to each and every one of you who has dropped me a comment and checked out my vids online at youtube.com/johnclinebell. Momentum is definitely growing with that. I've got over 30 vids now of new originals and popular covers, which have received over seven thousand plays in the last month! Please check out the channel if you can, rate some vids, leave me a cover request... I'll dedicate it to you!

Windows Media Player Stomping Grounds Skin

I've got some great friends in the web design industry, one of whom went out of his way to create a Windows Media Player skin themed with graphics from Stomping Grounds. If anyone would like to have it, I'd be happy to email it to you. Just send me a message to clinebell@gmail.com and it's yours!

International Pop Overthrow Festival

Something to put on your radar is that I've been invited to play at this year's International Pop Overthrow Festival in Los Angeles. Right now, it's set for somewhere in late July, early August. I'll let you know as soon as I do regarding when my slot is scheduled. Here's a site with more info on the festival: http://www.internationalpopoverthrow.com/

Hula Chair Comedy Videos

Finally, on a humorous note, I actually purchased a Hula Chair for $300. Am I insane? I guess a little bit, but my friends at work (yes, I still have to work a day job) and I thought it would be hilarious to put some comedy sketches together around this absurd, made-for-tv exercise product. You can find the first of them at Funny Or Die: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/fe6ddffcb4
Also check out the mix we did of us sitting on the stupid thing to 50 Cent: http://youtube.com/watch?v=L0ugUcmVpUk

That's it for now, hope to see you out on the Third Street Promenade soon :)

Cheers,
John

John Clinebell News for March 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am writing to let you know that I have a few great pieces of news to share with you this week!

1. SHOW IN SAN DIEGO ON FRIDAY NIGHT
2. SHOW IN LOS ANGELES ON SATURDAY NIGHT
3. PRE-RELEASE OF STOMPING GROUNDS
4. FIRST SINGLE: A NEW VERSION OF "NUMBER"
5. I WON THE CHEVY SONGWRITING COMPETITION!*

SHOW IN SAN DIEGO ON FRIDAY NIGHT
I'm taking a trip down to SD this Friday to play a gig with a new friend of mine, fellow songwriter Dave Boodakian! Come join us for crazy original sets from madly skilled SoCal performers. Here's the details, straight from Dave's MySpace page:
March 14 2008 at Mueller College
Across the Street
4601 Park Blvd, San Diego, California 92109
Cost : $8

Quoting Dave: "This show will feature three other artists who I personally picked out to play with me! John Clinebell, Martin Storrow and a mystery set from a special San Diego Music Award winner and local legend... check their profiles out on my top friends!"

Dave's Myspace page can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/davebooda
Hope you can make it!

SHOW IN LOS ANGELES ON SATURDAY NIGHT
Oh yeah, and after you have a blast down in San Diego with us definitely head over to the west side for acoustic sets from Dave, Phillip Boone and myself from 7-10PM at The Talking Stick the next evening. We'll be rotating half hour sets, so there'll be plenty of variety, and trust me both of these guys are stellar; I wouldn't have planned a whole evening of music with them if they weren't! And the only thing better than the music will be the venue; The Talking Stick is the perfect chill little singer/songwriter venue on the west side. You'll be able to purchase great drinks and watch an intimate performance in a comfy atmosphere you'll be going back to whenever you're in the neighborhood and need to relax with your laptop or book. Plus they're awesome that they support local talent as they are with this evening!!

March 15 2008 at The Talking Stick
1630 Ocean Park Boulevard
Santa Monica, California 90405
Cost: FREE

I'll be handing out free stickers and other goods at both gigs, and performing BRAND NEW SONGS; THAT'S RIGHT THEY'RE SO GOOD THEY DESERVE (AND JUSTIFY THE USE OF) ALL CAPS.

Phillip Boone (WHO ALSO DESERVES ALL CAPS) can be found at http://www.myspace.com/philipboone

3. PRE-RELEASE OF STOMPING GROUNDS
More information for you on the new and MUCH improved Stomping Grounds... There are gonna be eleven tracks, that includes a new bonus track, and a remixed "Number." Haha, get it? Number. LIke it's a musical number and the song is also called "Number." I bet you're thinking "Gee, John, I didn't think I was getting a top-notch comedy show in this music update, but I am sure better off for it!" ***

***Rest assured that one thing you will not be getting in the re-release is more "comedy."

In case you'd like to pre-order the CD (which is launching very soon) or pick up a sweet tee shirt right now with the album cover on it for a modest price: http://store.spgentertainment.com/store.html

4. FIRST SINGLE: A NEW VERSION OF "NUMBER"
I could tell you a long hilarious (truly!) story of how this happened, but suffice it to say that "Number" is the first true single on the re-release of Stomping Grounds. The guys over at Uncle Plum took what John Wolf and I created and gave it a really sick treatment. If you go to http://myspace.com/spgentertainment and listen to it on their page, you'll see what I mean! That version is gonna be included on the re-release, so you're actually able to pre-order it now. :)

*5. I WON THE CHEVY SONGWRITING COMPETITION!
In a maddening series of plot twists and turns, the race to the winner of the 2008 Chevrolet Songwriter Search came down to................ A 50-WAY TIE FOR FIRST PLACE!!! Haha, that's right, in the end 50 songs ended up with a 52% record in the head-to-head player. So I haven't heard from Chevy yet, but I eagerly await my $500 prize, and hopefully a place on their sweet industry promotional CD. In case you didn't hear the tune during the contest, you can find it here: http://singersongwriter.musicnation.com/ The song is called "Go For Broke"

That's all, I'm gonna go get Lost in the webisode I missed from last week. Let me know how you're all doing; hopefully great :)

Cheers,
-John

--
http://clinebellmusic.com
http://myspace.com/johnclinebell
http://lasongwriter.org
http://youtube.com/johnclinebell
http://sonicbids.com/LosAngelesSingerSongwriter
http://bigserp.com
http://realestatemarketingblog.org
http://thedailyinjustice.blogspot.com

Tom Chambers Sucks, Apparently...

My sister's husband's sister (that's a mouthful) went to a Phoenix Suns game last night and saw Tom Chambers. I was forwarded this message from her after they went. Apparently, Tom Chambers sucks!

"OK. So after the game we went over to the parking garage where the players come out, hoping to get some pictures or waves or something. Most of them had really dark tint and had their windows rolled up, but Nash rolled his down a little and gave a wave. Raja waved too. Couldn't get any good pictures of that, though. So anyway, after all the players left we walked back around the outside of the arena to head to the car, and as we are walking by the paseo we see TC inside the arena, standing behind those big, glass windows. We had one picture left on our camera, so we figured we'd use it on TC, since he was just standing there shooting the shit with Steinke and two girls. Chris walked up to the window, smiling, showing him the camera and asking him if he could get a picture. Tom Chambers just got this completely disgusted look on his face and looked totally annoyed. He said something about the glass window messing with the flash, and Chris just said how we just have one picture left to waste. Then TC goes, "Alright, waste it then", really rudely. He was just a total dick, rolling his eyes and shit. It was Chris's first Suns game ever, and he was just excited to see TC because he USED to like him. What an asshole."

Taco Eating Challenge: 10 from Del Taco in 8 Minutes

My work had a taco-eating competition. $20 at stake. The original concept was 10 tacos in 10 minutes. I said no sweat; check out my Del Taco victory photos!

Sweetness prevails! You'll see me polishing off taco #6 here.

IMD, bitches!

Santa Monica Department of Transportation: Don't Argue with a Bureaucrat!

My lord I had the funniest exchange with a bureaucrat at Santa Monica City Hall the other day. A middle-aged woman in the Santa Monica Department of Transportation was "helping" me get a new guest parking pass for my apartment in Santa Monica that morning. I swear that the back and forth between us was like that scene in Meet the Parents when Mr. Focker's character was catching a flight back home late at night and ran into Ms. Oblivious Flight Attendant at the boarding gate...

Me: "Hey, good morning!"
Desk Lady: "Do you have a number?"

I look around and there's no one else in sight. It was like 8AM on a Tuesday. You could hear the birds chirping.

Me: "Do I need a number?"
Desk Lady: "You can get a number at the front desk."

She points at a desk where another middle-aged woman was slumped over a typewriter. I walk over to the desk, and stand there for a good 30 seconds before she notices I'm there.

Me: "Hi, is this where I get a number?"
Desk Lady #2: "Yes."

She prints me out a dumb ticket with a alpha numeric combination on it. Of course Desk Lady doesn't announce that she'll help "M-1234" or whatever the fuck was on my ticket. So I walk back over to Ms. Just-Giving-Me-Busy-Work, and then she looks up at me like I was a good boy for doing her bidding.

Me: "So I need another guest permit. I only have one right now, and I'm allowed to have up to two I believe."

Desk Lady looks at my paperwork from when I received my permits.

Desk Lady: "This paperwork is three months old. We like to see something from the past two months that proves you actually live where you say you do. Like a bank statement or a phone bill."

I just sit and nod. As she's saying this, she's actually preparing my parking pass. I could've said any of the following:

• "What the fuck makes you think you have the authority to make someone get a number when no one is around?"
• "What the hell? Isn't the fact that I received permits to my Santa Monica address three months ago, and my driver's license has my home address on it proof enough that I live there? I mean it's not like I'm registering to become a gun owner or something. I just need a place for my friends to park so they don't get ass-raped by your parking enforcement officers after 6PM."
• "Nice hair."

But I just kept quiet, got my permit, and felt kinda lucky it all worked out. Bureaucrats... middle-aged women need a job too, right?

Santa Monica Toyota Sucks! They Don't Adhere to AAA "Preferred Dealership" Program

Great AAA Program, Dim Wits at Toyota of Santa Monica

AAA California has this rad program where you can buy new cars at pre-negotiated, discounted prices. It's part of being in their 'recommended dealerships' network. So I fill out a 'configure your dream car' form and it's actually a blue base 2008 Toyota Tacoma Access Cab pickup. I also comment on the form that I'm simply looking for the lowest price on the base version of the specific model Tacoma I want. The AAA site says that someone from Santa Monica Toyota, the closest recommended dealer to me, would be in contact with me. So I get an email from their Fleet Manager, Hutch:

Hi John
Thanks for your interest in a Tacoma. However we do not provid qoutes via email or per phone call. Also we do not have any base Tacomas in stock new or used. I assume you want the lowest price on the lowest tacoma thats what you mentioned here in your message to me. Best of luck too you.
Thanks,
Hutch

Hutch of Santa Monica Toyota Failed High School English

Well, Hutch, your lofty sounding title certainly made me think that you would be able to spell such words as "provide" and "quotes." Also thought you might be able to maneuver around grammar mistakes like inconsistent capitalization, run-on sentences, and using the wrong spelling of a similar sounding word (mistaking "to" for "too"), but apparently you hit the wall head on and only got one star on your crash test rating.

Santa Monica Toyota: Dead Set Against Direct Savings

All kidding about this man's inability to draft a coherent pitch to a HOT lead (I seriously need a car, have stellar credit, and am ready to do business yesterday!) aside, the thing that really peeves me about this is the fact that nowhere in the email does he suggest that he's willing to help me find what I want. Isn't that the most basic premise of sales: listen to the customer and just sell him/her what they are asking to buy? I thought that was the beauty about this AAA program: the dealership negotiates with AAA for a rate they are comfortable selling cars and trucks at, and then the customer simply asks for what they want, fills out some paperwork, and then they have a deal?

Hutch's email seems in total contradiction of the spirit of this AAA referral program. I am publicly calling upon AAA to remove Santa Monica Toyota from this program because they have quickly demonstrated to me an unwillingness to assist me in taking advantage of the savings the program supposedly provides on the vehicle I desire.

Toyota of Santa Monica sucks. That's my conclusion. Clinebell out.