My work had a taco-eating competition. $20 at stake. The original concept was 10 tacos in 10 minutes. I said no sweat; check out my Del Taco victory photos!
Sweetness prevails! You'll see me polishing off taco #6 here.
IMD, bitches!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Santa Monica Department of Transportation: Don't Argue with a Bureaucrat!
My lord I had the funniest exchange with a bureaucrat at Santa Monica City Hall the other day. A middle-aged woman in the Santa Monica Department of Transportation was "helping" me get a new guest parking pass for my apartment in Santa Monica that morning. I swear that the back and forth between us was like that scene in Meet the Parents when Mr. Focker's character was catching a flight back home late at night and ran into Ms. Oblivious Flight Attendant at the boarding gate...
Me: "Hey, good morning!"
Desk Lady: "Do you have a number?"
I look around and there's no one else in sight. It was like 8AM on a Tuesday. You could hear the birds chirping.
Me: "Do I need a number?"
Desk Lady: "You can get a number at the front desk."
She points at a desk where another middle-aged woman was slumped over a typewriter. I walk over to the desk, and stand there for a good 30 seconds before she notices I'm there.
Me: "Hi, is this where I get a number?"
Desk Lady #2: "Yes."
She prints me out a dumb ticket with a alpha numeric combination on it. Of course Desk Lady doesn't announce that she'll help "M-1234" or whatever the fuck was on my ticket. So I walk back over to Ms. Just-Giving-Me-Busy-Work, and then she looks up at me like I was a good boy for doing her bidding.
Me: "So I need another guest permit. I only have one right now, and I'm allowed to have up to two I believe."
Desk Lady looks at my paperwork from when I received my permits.
Desk Lady: "This paperwork is three months old. We like to see something from the past two months that proves you actually live where you say you do. Like a bank statement or a phone bill."
I just sit and nod. As she's saying this, she's actually preparing my parking pass. I could've said any of the following:
Me: "Hey, good morning!"
Desk Lady: "Do you have a number?"
I look around and there's no one else in sight. It was like 8AM on a Tuesday. You could hear the birds chirping.
Me: "Do I need a number?"
Desk Lady: "You can get a number at the front desk."
She points at a desk where another middle-aged woman was slumped over a typewriter. I walk over to the desk, and stand there for a good 30 seconds before she notices I'm there.
Me: "Hi, is this where I get a number?"
Desk Lady #2: "Yes."
She prints me out a dumb ticket with a alpha numeric combination on it. Of course Desk Lady doesn't announce that she'll help "M-1234" or whatever the fuck was on my ticket. So I walk back over to Ms. Just-Giving-Me-Busy-Work, and then she looks up at me like I was a good boy for doing her bidding.
Me: "So I need another guest permit. I only have one right now, and I'm allowed to have up to two I believe."
Desk Lady looks at my paperwork from when I received my permits.
Desk Lady: "This paperwork is three months old. We like to see something from the past two months that proves you actually live where you say you do. Like a bank statement or a phone bill."
I just sit and nod. As she's saying this, she's actually preparing my parking pass. I could've said any of the following:
- "What the fuck makes you think you have the authority to make someone get a number when no one is around?"
- "What the hell? Isn't the fact that I received permits to my Santa Monica address three months ago, and my driver's license has my home address on it proof enough that I live there? I mean it's not like I'm registering to become a gun owner or something. I just need a place for my friends to park so they don't get ass-raped by your parking enforcement officers after 6PM."
- "Nice hair."
Monday, February 18, 2008
Santa Monica Toyota Sucks! They Don't Adhere to AAA "Preferred Dealership" Program
Great AAA Program, Dim Wits at Toyota of Santa Monica
AAA California has this rad program where you can buy new cars at pre-negotiated, discounted prices. It's part of being in their 'recommended dealerships' network. So I fill out a 'configure your dream car' form and it's actually a blue base 2008 Toyota Tacoma Access Cab pickup. I also comment on the form that I'm simply looking for the lowest price on the base version of the specific model Tacoma I want. The AAA site says that someone from Santa Monica Toyota, the closest recommended dealer to me, would be in contact with me. So I get an email from their Fleet Manager, Hutch:
Hi John
Thanks for your interest in a Tacoma. However we do not provid qoutes via email or per phone call. Also we do not have any base Tacomas in stock new or used. I assume you want the lowest price on the lowest tacoma thats what you mentioned here in your message to me. Best of luck too you.
Thanks,
Hutch
Hutch of Santa Monica Toyota Failed High School English
Well, Hutch, your lofty sounding title certainly made me think that you would be able to spell such words as "provide" and "quotes." Also thought you might be able to maneuver around grammar mistakes like inconsistent capitalization, run-on sentences, and using the wrong spelling of a similar sounding word (mistaking "to" for "too"), but apparently you hit the wall head on and only got one star on your crash test rating.
Santa Monica Toyota: Dead Set Against Direct Savings
All kidding about this man's inability to draft a coherent pitch to a HOT lead (I seriously need a car, have stellar credit, and am ready to do business yesterday!) aside, the thing that really peeves me about this is the fact that nowhere in the email does he suggest that he's willing to help me find what I want. Isn't that the most basic premise of sales: listen to the customer and just sell him/her what they are asking to buy? I thought that was the beauty about this AAA program: the dealership negotiates with AAA for a rate they are comfortable selling cars and trucks at, and then the customer simply asks for what they want, fills out some paperwork, and then they have a deal?
Hutch's email seems in total contradiction of the spirit of this AAA referral program. I am publicly calling upon AAA to remove Santa Monica Toyota from this program because they have quickly demonstrated to me an unwillingness to assist me in taking advantage of the savings the program supposedly provides on the vehicle I desire.
Toyota of Santa Monica sucks. That's my conclusion. Clinebell out.
AAA California has this rad program where you can buy new cars at pre-negotiated, discounted prices. It's part of being in their 'recommended dealerships' network. So I fill out a 'configure your dream car' form and it's actually a blue base 2008 Toyota Tacoma Access Cab pickup. I also comment on the form that I'm simply looking for the lowest price on the base version of the specific model Tacoma I want. The AAA site says that someone from Santa Monica Toyota, the closest recommended dealer to me, would be in contact with me. So I get an email from their Fleet Manager, Hutch:
Hi John
Thanks for your interest in a Tacoma. However we do not provid qoutes via email or per phone call. Also we do not have any base Tacomas in stock new or used. I assume you want the lowest price on the lowest tacoma thats what you mentioned here in your message to me. Best of luck too you.
Thanks,
Hutch
Hutch of Santa Monica Toyota Failed High School English
Well, Hutch, your lofty sounding title certainly made me think that you would be able to spell such words as "provide" and "quotes." Also thought you might be able to maneuver around grammar mistakes like inconsistent capitalization, run-on sentences, and using the wrong spelling of a similar sounding word (mistaking "to" for "too"), but apparently you hit the wall head on and only got one star on your crash test rating.
Santa Monica Toyota: Dead Set Against Direct Savings
All kidding about this man's inability to draft a coherent pitch to a HOT lead (I seriously need a car, have stellar credit, and am ready to do business yesterday!) aside, the thing that really peeves me about this is the fact that nowhere in the email does he suggest that he's willing to help me find what I want. Isn't that the most basic premise of sales: listen to the customer and just sell him/her what they are asking to buy? I thought that was the beauty about this AAA program: the dealership negotiates with AAA for a rate they are comfortable selling cars and trucks at, and then the customer simply asks for what they want, fills out some paperwork, and then they have a deal?
Hutch's email seems in total contradiction of the spirit of this AAA referral program. I am publicly calling upon AAA to remove Santa Monica Toyota from this program because they have quickly demonstrated to me an unwillingness to assist me in taking advantage of the savings the program supposedly provides on the vehicle I desire.
Toyota of Santa Monica sucks. That's my conclusion. Clinebell out.
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